I have decided to stop streaming on Twitch, and have since been doing better in terms of health. It dawn upon me that, I was too fixated on trying to make streaming successful that I ended up not being able to enjoy both the game and myself. This was supposed to be simply an experiment but once again I got sidetracked and my competitive nature got the better of me. The truth was, I was never going to become successful at Twitch streaming due to various reasons beyond my control. So then, rather than getting frustrated over the limitations, why not make the most of what I have now?
I have decided to simply do nothing in this period of rest. What I need is rest and tranquility, a moment of respite before I head back to working society. It seems really nice to be able to manage my own time now, to do what I wish on a whim. I no longer have to worry about managing a time table, and indulge in “me” time. What I crave from streaming was probably human interaction without the prejudice, and I have since found that by returning to Final Fantasy XIV, an MMO that I once enjoyed four years ago before work replaced my life.
The freedom to hold short, simple conversations with people over the internet has been a welcoming addition. Something that is very different from interaction with Twitch viewership, where commitment is required. I still need to keep my competitive nature in check though, so as not to offend people and pick fight with elitist. Perhaps because of my past, I possess an extreme dislike for any attempt to mock / put another down and end standing up for others, picking fights that are not even mine to begin with. That flaw, if it should even be referred to as such is something that has gotten me into much mess that ended up not helping anyone. I will try to work on that, and explore better alternatives to mess with the elitist nature of humanity without causing undue grief to the victim.
Well that’s pretty much what I wanted to say. For now, let’s have lunch =)